Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
