I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
