ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on