i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument