I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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