Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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