I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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