there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize