We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
