I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize