I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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