HIV tests are more positive than that guy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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