so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
