i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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