I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
