It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is my gift to your gina
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
