I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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