Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
