Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
