Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I need a burrito and a hug.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
