No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
