i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
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Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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