its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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