I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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