Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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