im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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