if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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