i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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