shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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