I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
im about as happy as oj after his trial
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
