i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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