hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Enjoy the penises
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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