it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
