Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
