I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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