beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
