You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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