i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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