I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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