i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
