Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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