nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
