Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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