we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is Oprah even human
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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