Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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