yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
