WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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