I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
