Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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