About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ladies don't puke and tell
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
