I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
