Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
