If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
