He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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