My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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