I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
