We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize