I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
