went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
