We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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