3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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