youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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