Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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