YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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